Well, I had great plans of posting something fun and crafty, but as some of you are probably terribly familiar, life sometimes get in the way. I've been a bit blue lately about the increasing challenges of raising my little girl, and I'm currently really wondering if I'm up for the job. She's just a little over 2 1/2 now, and I guess we're well into the phase that many warned us about. It's so frustrating when our days are filled with battles, struggles, and tears... I miss the days where she was so happy and cheerful to just hang out, read books, play with toys, etc. Instead, her current favorite activity seems to be pushing mom's buttons as often as possible, ignoring mom's requests (or commands!) to stop, being obstinate, and creating impossible situations. Ugh! I know that so many of you have already been through this (or are currently in the midst with me), and so I keep telling myself that I can do this. But, each day becomes harder than the last, and my patience and mental fortitude appear to be fading fast.
I'm beginning to wonder if the fact that I work from home is part of the problem: because she sees me home all the time, I think she feels that I am at her disposal. It's *very* challenging to set limits and boundaries when I'm right next to her or in the next room. On top of that, our situation is one that inevitably leads to lots of guilt on my part - if I'm playing with her I feel guilty that I'm not working more, and if I'm working, I'm guilty of not spending enough time with my girl! I can't even begin to imagine what this would be like if I had 2 or even more children.
And so, I continue to hope that I am growing stronger and more patient, and that she and I will find a way to happily coexist through this time while she explores boundaries, learns to assert herself, and continues to investigate her roles in life. I know that all of the behaviors we're seeing are normal and an important part of her development, but more often than not I feel completely incapable of parenting in a responsible and effective manner.
Thanks for bearing with me on this post... this is what is at the forefront of my mind at the moment, and I need to find some way to process and learn from what we're going through. I'm hoping to get back to my old self really soon!